“We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
– Return to Love, 1992, Marianne Williamson
Powerful. Inspirational.
And yet 5 years ago I resented this quote with a passion. There was too much struggle and difficulty in my life to be able to relate to this.
In the photo opposite, you can see it in my drawn face, my sunken eyes, the forced grimace. I didn’t feel enough, and everyone else expected far too much of me. I expected too much of myself.
But I was convinced everyone else was ok.
Everyone else was doing life so much better than me.
I saw the look in their eyes, not knowing what to say, not really wanting to be around me. At that point, I struggled to muster the happy, smiley Jax routine. I wanted it all to stop.
Yet I knew, through my work, my training, the therapy, that there was untapped possibility and potential within me. I had to find ways to help me.
Little by little I gave myself permission to look after, care for and love myself. It felt uncomfortable, gratuitous, especially when there was so much suffering around me – shouldn’t I be helping everyone else?
There comes a time, often many times, when we reach this kind of rock bottom. Defining moments or negative patterns that keep repeating. Letting go of being all things to all people, of imagining what they think of us, how they judge us, how they sabotage us, isn’t easy. It’s a mindset that creeps in from external influences, a wiring of the brain’s thought patterns that gets stronger and stronger unless we actively seek to re-wire.
There are many ways to do this, but how do we discover the ways that work for us?
It can feel overwhelming, and where do we find the time, energy, and motivation?
I know, now, that there are ways and means of moving through each and every situation that life throws at us. Ways of looking at ourselves and those around us that become a healing balm. Ways of moving through that create time, energy and motivation, that generate self-esteem and confidence, inner courage and strength, joy and fun, and abiding peace.
From this firm and beautiful inner foundation, the outer world changes. An ordinary miracle begins to unfold.
The words of Marianne Williamson take on new meaning, they flip our mindset from wallowing in our misery to playing with our potential. I look at photos and videos of myself now and can see the light shining from deep within – I own that, I’m humbly proud and I share it.
It’s my firm belief that each one of us has a gift, a calling, a purpose that we are here to fulfill, but this cannot be realised if we are stuck in old mindset patterns of belief that keep us small.
The biggest realisation for me was that my keeping small was like a drug, I was addicted to being a victim. I had hidden my light in the belief that others would be resentful of it.
Even worse, this was being seen and absorbed by my young children and those around me. If I stayed small it would become their story as well. It was time to re-write my thought patterns, to re-imagine my story.
Through this journey of discovery Williamson’s words made more and more sense.
My liberation from these fearful thought patterns has changed my world on an incredibly wonderful scale. Internal freedom has released me from toxic relationship patterns, my children are far more confident, resilient, open, and happy, and my work life has become a joyful vocation!
This, in turn, has enabled me to shine my light more and more visibly. If I can make such a transformation in my own life, I know that you can too.
If you’re ready to step out of debilitating fear and discover your own light, come explore with me. Let’s nurture the spark into a flame, and those who are waiting for permission will see a shining beacon that says: “Come on! You can shine too! Let me lead the way! We can do this!”
If you would like to know more, you can:
- Take a look at the Work With Jax page
- Join my FB Group Awakening Transformation – a safe and supportive space for those who are on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, and/or support others with their own journey. It’s a place for connection, inspiration, encouragement, and up-to-date information on coaching and programmes.
- You can also book a Discovery Call to discuss your needs and ask any questions you may have.